It's been time for me to have my regular freak-out about not having a job - usually brought on by looking at my bank balance as the time draws near for me to pay my mortgage. I'm getting more antsy than usual now, though, because at least up until now, I was finding jobs I thought I was qualified for. That's not been the case in the last couple of weeks. I'm starting to think maybe a career change is in order. Which sucks, because I like what I do (marketing/technical writer, for those keeping track at home). There's also the question of what I would do instead. I'm drawn to massage therapy, but I'm worried about how soon I could complete the training, plus what kind of money I could expect to earn, as well as what the job prospects are. I like that it's very portable - there are a couple of places in New Zealand I could have worked that I ran across without looking, for example.

I know I'm doing something wrong, but I'm not sure what it is (though a lack of effort has much to do with it, I'm sure). I am going to a seminar tomorrow, though, so hopefully I'll get some insight. Or at least a way to be more effective in my search.

Please, any PTB that happen to pay attention to a blog, I'd really like to find a job. I know I'm going to sell my house at some point, but I'd like to do it at a time of my choosing instead of being forced out because I can't afford it.

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I'm going to start selling my jewelry. I know, I've been talking about it for a while. But I got some reinforcement last week.

I went to lunch with some former co-workers. I had made a bracelet and earrings set as a gift for my former boss (we're still friends, obviously). Plus I was wearing a couple of pieces that I'd made for myself. After everyone had a chance to admire my handiwork - always nice - two of my lunch companions offered to host jewelry parties once I had enough stock made up to sell. And I have a third friend who's offered to take some of my pieces to her office to see what might sell. So I'll be creating this week, then give her some things to take in next week. And we'll see how that goes.

The trick for me will be to figure out the right mix of product. I have some "footless sandals" I've been making, which will be the first offerings. They're cute, but for the amount I think I can charge for them and the time it's taking me to put them together, I don't know that they're cost effective for me. The materials aren't expensive, which is why I don't feel comfortable charging more for them out of the gate, but they do take me about an hour each. That may speed up as I make more and figure out better ways of doing things, but at the moment I'm not too thrilled with my profit vs. time ratio. I'll see how they do, and maybe I can bump up the price a bit. I may also upgrade to semi-precious stones, depending on if I get feedback that people might be willing to spend a bit more on a piece of foot jewelry. I'm playing kind of safe for the moment - I can't afford to invest too much into this beyond what I already have on hand. Luckily, I've got a lot of beads and such. My craft supplies have taken over a closet in the house.

Oh, and there's the challenge of figuring out what I'm going to call my venture. I hate coming up with names/titles.

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I'm going to share this, because I firmly believe may the best person win, and I bet a couple of you could do well with this (and I'm looking at you, Punky). There's a site called TheBigTrip.com that's looking for someone to go around the US and host some travel webisodes next year and blog about what they're doing. The job pays $50,000 for 15 weeks of travel. Now I just need to dig out the camcorder and come up with an idea for an application video by November 1.

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My brother was in town this weekend. I asked him if he was going to be over here this coming weekend as well. He answered, "No, but I'm going to try to be here the weekend following. Is there something happening next weekend?"

I gave him The Look. "Just my birthday."

"What?! I thought it was the Wednesday after."

"Nope, it's this Friday." But because I am a good sister, I continued, "But don't worry about it. I've already got plans for both Friday and Saturday nights, plus I'll do something with [another friend] Friday during the day." (All of which is true, by the way.)

Now, to be fair, it's not like I go to Austin for his birthday, but he does get his gift either early or on the day. (Though one year it was only because of I was able to email him his iTunes gift card...) How he remembered my birthday last year - a day before, even, so I got it on my birthday in New Zealand - I'll never know. Though I do suspect Facebook had something to do with that...

So I'll be ordering my Double Doozie cookie cake either today or tomorrow.

A little while ago, I was working on my next beadweaving project (no surprise lately), when I think my muse decided to check in with a swift kick (a rather large surprise).

Now, I haven't written anything that's not work-related in ages – well, aside from the occasional Xanga post. I've only given a passing thought to writing a fiction piece in the last several years. (Though I do think I have a trashy romance plot starting to percolate on the back burner, but we'll see if anything comes of it.)

So I'm sitting there, sewing little tiny beads together, when this germ of a story idea I had years back (as in, during my college days) comes to mind for some odd reason. I've always like this little seed, but I couldn't ever really get it to work. I had snippets, but no cohesive plot line. I could actually "see" my setting – a rarity for me – and I knew what my main character's issue was. I even knew, sort of, what I wanted to happen for the climax of the story arc. I just couldn't figure out how to get there, and said climax wasn't quite right.

Even more oddly, the story starts to flesh out in my mind. And I think it works. The plot line starts to fill out and flow in a way that makes sense to me. I even add a character who helps things move along nicely and takes care of a couple of my issues with the climax and resolution.

For once, I did something somewhat smart. I grabbed the notepad that I've been sketching my jewelry ideas on and started writing notes. I now have a quick and dirty outline for the story. I don't have character names yet, but I do have a potential title, which is always one of my stumbling blocks. I'll still have to get past the trauma of the blank screen when I go to start actually writing the story, but who knows, I may actually have something different to work on with all this free time I have lately. And that's kinda cool.

Have a great week, folks!

About 3 am, I'm woken up by a loud crash. (As in something in the house falling down, not vehicles colliding outside.) I'd hung a few things in the last couple of days; one of them was a medicine cabinet-type thing in the master bathroom. I drag myself out of bed to go look, but no, the cabinet is still on the wall.

I give a mental shrug and decide to figure it out after I'm supposed to be awake. I make my way back to bed.

Then I notice the very large picture I had hung above the bed - centered in between the two posts - isn't there anymore. Well, shit. That thing had been expensive to frame. And pretty heavy, heavy enough to pull out one of the two picture hangers I'd put in the wall to hold it up.

On the plus side, it managed to fall straight down so it landed in between my bed and the wall. Which beats the heck out of it falling forward and smacking me in my sleeping head that was right below it. Did I mention that this picture is heavy? Lovely non-glare glass and everything. (Well, not so lovely anymore, what with the big chunks of glass that broke and are now in the trash. Stupid gravity.)

Now I'm going to have to reframe the darned thing. I'll keep the same frame, even though it does have a big ol' chunk of wood missing from the point of impact. And I think this time I'll go with plexi-glass instead of the heavier stuff. It stinks that I'll have to take the whole thing apart to replace the glass, but I'm not spending another $200+ to have it done at Michael's. I've framed a couple of my smaller pieces myself, I'll do this one too.

But yeah, really glad not to have been woken up by a concussion. Or, you know, not woken up at all.

I know several of the folks I subscribe to are also on Facebook; I'm curious if any of y'all are using the "Publish this entry to your Facebook profile" feature.

I have a feeling most of you don't, because I've read posts about having Xanga as a place where you can say what you can't on the book-of-faces. And let's face it, part of the appeal of Xanga is the relative anonymity you can have here. Yes, I know who some of you are, and vice versa, but it's been our choice to reveal ourselves. Not everyone seeks that anonymity - Tom is a good example - but a lot of that depends on just what you publish here.

I've had times when I've been tempted to use the Facebook option here, but I have a feeling I won't. Even after my great blog purging of a couple of years ago, I'm not completely comfortable with the idea of airing my Xanga site to the world. I don't think I've written anything that I'd mind the folks I know personally reading (or in the rare instances I have, I've actually protected those posts), but I'd rather not have to worry about it.

Feel free to chime in with your opinion; I'd like to know if I'm the only one who's kinda protective of my Xanga site, even if I'm not here all that often anymore.

Talked to the recruiter that got me the interview last week. She said they were impressed with me, but they're pursuing another candidate who had more of the experience they were looking for. *sigh* They might call me in for a second interview, but she said I shouldn't count on it.

Sort of sucks to be hoping that this other person somehow botches his/her second interview. But deep down I am.

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I'm going to end up selling my jewelry. I've been hesitant to this point, mostly because I want my pieces to be "perfect" before I even think of selling them, and I can always spot something in a piece that I'm not happy with. Not things that would keep *me* from wearing it, but I haven't liked the idea of charging for something that I feel has a flaw. (I'm referring to little things, like my loops not being completely uniform or having a couple of seed beads not lying exactly where they should. If something's really messed up, I'll take it apart and remake it. Or not, but I won't keep it.)

But I'm starting to let go of the idea that something needs to be perfect for me to sell it. I've been getting more and more confident in my skills in this arena, plus I really can't keep all the stuff I make. I do love my jewelry, but it's getting to the point that I keep finding items in my jewelry collection that I forgot I had. I mean things I really, really like but haven't worn in so long they've faded from memory.

And I have so much more that I want to make. I have supplies for no less than five projects pulled together and waiting for me to work on. That's not including the ones I have in mind and have the makings for but haven't pulled out yet. Plus the ridonculous number of patterns and kits I have bookmarked that I want to buy once I can get around to them.

Hell, I need to sell some stuff for resupply money. And it doesn't hurt that I made a "footless sandal" for a friend and gave it to her at her 4th of July party, then had two other gals ask if I could make them ones, too.

Now I just need to figure out how I'm going to go about this selling thing.

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I finally saw Up this weekend. It was one of the most beautiful movies I've seen in a long time, and I don't just mean the animation (though that was wonderful as well). I expected to enjoy the plot, since I can sympathize with anyone who wants to travel on an adventure, but I wasn't expecting the touching love story element of it. I don't know how those folks over at Pixar keep doing it, but I hope they keep doing it for a nice long time. I was even excited to see that they're doing Toy Story 3 next year, and I tend not to be impressed with cartoon sequels. But they did such a good job with Toy Story 2, I have a good feeling about 3.

Now, if they'd just do a sequel to The Incredibles, I'd be stoked.

So, here's my horoscope for today:

It feels as if other people were put here to grant your wishes, but it's also a reflection of your own generous spirit and accumulated good karma. A very special gift could come your way now, and you know how you love to get gifts. It could be something big in the material realm -- computer equipment, a digital doohickey you've been hankering for, a gorgeous piece of artwork -- or it could be something intangible but that's even more precious. Enjoy!

Oh, this is one I'd dearly like to be correct. Please, oh great and wonderful Universe, could you see fit to give me the gift of a job? Like the one I interviewed for this morning? Pretty please?

On the plus side, I think I did fairly well in the interview - but then, I seldom think I do badly in interviews, so I'm probably not the best judge. It was, however, probably the least I've talked about myself in an interview; I had a list of questions about the job before I got there, so my interviewee did quite a bit of talking, and when I did speak it was more about the job than it was about me. I hope that bodes well for my chances. I'll know by the end of next week, at any rate.

But hey, I'd be happy to get other gifts. 'Cause one thing the horoscope got right is my fondness towards the gifts.

I think I have a new guilty pleasure when it comes to the TV - but maybe it shouldn't be so guilty. I've gotten sucked into How to Find a Husband on Fine Living.

I'll confess, I thought it was a joke the first time I noticed it on the program listing. But the other day, my Tivo had taped something earlier in the day on Fine Living, so when I turned on the TV the show was on. I cringed a smidge and went to the program guide to find something else to watch. (For those poor people who don't have a Tivo, the program guide comes on over the the current channel, so you still see and hear what's on.) And I got sucked in.

It helps that the gal on the show is Scottish, and it's filmed in London. Me being me, I'll at least pause when there are British accents to be heard. Then I started to realize that this is something that could be helpful for me - you know, she who doesn't know how to date. I'm not saying I'm looking for a husband, but some help in the "how to find a guy and what to do once you've found him" department is most welcome indeed. Plus, I think I really like Sally, the gal who's the subject of the program. I'm not saying she's just like me - she's far more outgoing, which actually makes me feel a bit better since she's a year older than me and still single - but I feel like we could be at least friendly acquaintances if we met in person. There aren't that many people I would say that about who are on "reality" TV shows.

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One of my best friends from New Zealand is now working for Radio NZ. A couple of days ago she sent me a link to listen to some of the pieces she's done for their morning news program, and I finally got around to listening this morning.

It was such a weird but cool experience. First of all, it's just wonderful to hear her voice, but she sounds so different reading the news. When I emailed her back I told her she sounded so posh! She's very well spoken in real life anyway, and she does have a lovely speaking voice, but she was so... newscaster-ish. And I'm just so proud of her and happy for her, I could spit. (I wouldn't, because I have manners, but I could.)

And today makes it exactly seven months since I came back to Houston. I'm a little freaked out at how much I still miss New Zealand, and Christchurch specifically. I even miss my job there, and that's just unheard of for me. I even checked to see if my employer over there had a job opening in my department, but no luck. Not that I could move at the moment anyway, but I looked anyway.

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I did a really easy dinner tonight - just a can of salmon and some pasta, with a bit of oil and some spices (I mean, salt, onion powder and granulated garlic) mixed in. Oh, and a few capers, because I loves me some capers. I've done the same sort of thing oodles of times before, but tonight I decided to add a splash of vinegar in with the oil to add another note to it. (Ooh, almost sounds like I know what I'm talking about there, doesn't it?)

Shamefully, I still have vinegars that my dad bought in France when we went there back in 2002. Unopened. I'm a heathen sometimes, I know. Luckily, it's not like they're going to go bad or anything. So I reach in just to see what I happen to come out with. It's a bottle of white truffle vinegar. I added just a touch, since I only wanted to cut the oil a bit, not have pasta that tastes of vinegar.

Holy crap.

It's the tastiest pasta and salmon I've ever had. I'm having to restrain myself from finishing off the whole batch, since I deliberately made enough for tonight and lunch tomorrow. The only thing saving me from making a pig of myself is wondering what it will taste like tomorrow after the flavors have had time to meld some more.

I can't even explain why it's the tastiest of these super-easy, I'm-far-too-lazy-to-cook-a-proper-meal dishes. I think even a balsamic vinegar would have done the trick, but those stupidly expensive fungi are apparently worth what they sell for. Thank goodness a little goes a long way, or so I understand, since I think I'll be looking for even more things to add it to - and then be very, very sad when I run out.

That's all I got folks. May your Monday (or whenever you happen to run across this) not suck.

Oh, but I fear I am on a slippery slope. I shouldn't be left to my own devices for long periods of time.

I added a pic of my newest creation to one of my Facebook albums. (It should be viewable by everyone; let me know if it's not.) I played with not one but two - count 'em, two - new techniques for making jewelry in this one. I'm not 100% happy with my beaded beads, but it's at least 85%. I love, love, love my little origami kimonos, though.

I've also started playing with making paper beads. This is scary because it adds to the scrapbooking link I've already got. Plus a friend is going in with someone to start a new scrapbooking store in the near future. When I mentioned to her what I was working on, she said if it comes out well, maybe I could teach a class at the store once it's open. I pooh-poohed the idea when she mentioned it, but came up with how I think I could do such a class and using supplies available at a scrapbooking store (well, except for head- and eye-pins, but that's no big deal).

Oh, and I dozed off on the sofa for a bit one afternoon a few weeks ago and actually dreamed up a necklace design. I've never done that before. But I did sketch the idea out on the notepad that I put in easy reach a while back. I don't draw worth squat, but I've got a few ideas in there, either sketched out or just quick descriptions of technique ideas.

This whole jewelry making thing isn't one of my usual flash in the pan quick obsessions that I drop quickly. I suppose that's a good thing, especially since I've invested a decent amount in supplies. But it's a bit scary too, 'cause I know just how many other bits and bobs I really want to pick up so I can expand my repertoire.

It's almost two months before my birthday, but I'm already thinking about what I want to do for my "special" day. Which is a bit odd, since it's been a long time since I've really given a rat's posterior about the day. Maybe it's because so many people put forth an effort for me last year - what with being all alone in a foreign country and all - but I want to do something special-ish this year. I don't have a desire to revisit last year's jump off a bridge as a birthday present to myself, but I'd still like to mark the occasion in some way that's just for me.

I'd really, really like to go off somewhere by myself - just about anywhere, really, that would get me a passport stamp. But I just don't see how I can swing it. My finances aren't nearly as worry-inducing as they were a couple of months ago, but I still have debts to pay and no permanent job. (I have been freelancing, which is good but not something I can count on in the long term.) That won't stop me from plotting and scheming about it, of course. And if a really cheap airfare for Scotland or Ireland happens to come my way, I may just say the hell with it and go for at least a couple of days. It helps that my birthday falls on a Friday - I could easily do a three- or four-day weekend. Wouldn't be the first time. And I'd be perfectly happy to celebrate my birthday all by myself, doing something I enjoy. Oddly enough, I kind of like the idea of being by myself on the day. I think I've turned into a bit of a hermit in my *ahem* older age.

And would it be weird if I got my own birthday cake? Technically, what I want is a double doozie cookie cake from The Great American Cookie Company - it's my favorite. My mom usually took care of getting one for me the years I got one - including one of the years I was in college and she arranged to get me one through my roommate. I haven't had one for my birthday in a while, but I find myself really wanting one this year. My brother may be here for my birthday, and there's a reasonable chance he would think to get me one, but that's a lot of "ifs". Besides, by the time my birthday rolls around, he's going to have much bigger things on his mind than ordering a giant cookie for his sister. I just don't know if it's kinda pathetic to get your own birthday "cake" - though at least I wouldn't be baking it myself...

I thought I'd have a lazy day today (you know, in contrast to all those other days I jam-pack with activity - not). But somehow, I snuck in some productivity despite myself.

I had never really cleared out the extra closet that had some of my dad's stuff in it. I've never been in a particular hurry to do anything with the closet, so I've been letting it sit. I'd pulled out most of the clothes (but got the last of them out only a month or so ago), but there was still random stuff in there. But today, for some reason, I decided to tackle getting it cleared out. There are still one or two things in there because I really don't have a better place to put them, but it's mostly empty now. I just need to clean the floor in there - vacuumed already, but I need to mop the tile - and I'll have a bit more stash space.

I also threw out a little aquarium that I'm no longer using - my fish outgrew it ages back, but I left it sitting in its same spot on a kitchen counter. Which was madness, really, since one thing I don't have is much kitchen counter space. But now I have a teensy bit more.